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Beyond “Back in MY day!” And other tips for a more fulfilling retirement

 

 Retirement offers a unique opportunity to craft a balanced lifestyle that integrates your passions, health, and social connections. In our previous articles, "Thriving in Retirement: The Next Chapter" and "Retirement Reinvented: Evolving Your Identity," we discussed the importance of emotional and social preparation for retirement, emphasising that thriving in this new chapter requires more than just financial planning. It is so much more! In particular, we delved into the critical aspect of redefining your identity and purpose.

 

Eriaan Oelofse Beyond Back in MY day And other tips for a more fulfilling retirement 23Jul2024

By Dr. Eriaan Oelofse

 

Once you’ve worked through the reflective questions provided in "Retirement reinvented: Evolving your identity," it’s time to discuss some practical strategies for creating a fulfilling and balanced lifestyle in retirement. Additionally, it's crucial to address a common challenge: avoiding the tendency toward increased negativity or critical attitudes, often referred to as "age-related negativity." To address some of these issues, we'll begin by exploring Carl Jung's personality typology (MBTI), which can provide valuable insights into self-understanding and structuring your life in meaningful ways.

Understanding your personality type

Understanding your personality type can provide valuable insights into how to structure your retirement activities in a way that aligns with your natural preferences. The Myers-Briggs Type Indicator (MBTI) is based on Carl Jung's personality typology and is a useful tool for this purpose. Carl Jung, a Swiss psychiatrist and psychoanalyst, developed theories on psychological types that laid the foundation for the MBTI. The MBTI identifies 16 personality types based on four pairs of opposing traits:

  1. Introversion (I) vs. Extraversion (E):Introverts may prefer solitary activities or small group interactions, while extraverts thrive in larger social settings.

  2. Sensing (S) vs. Intuition (N):Sensors focus on concrete details and practical activities, whereas intuitives enjoy abstract ideas and imaginative pursuits.

  3. Thinking (T) vs. Feeling (F):Thinkers make decisions based on logic and objective criteria, while feelers consider personal values and the impact on others.

  4. Judging (J) vs. Perceiving (P):Judgers prefer structured, planned activities, while perceivers enjoy flexibility and spontaneity.

 

Applying MBTI to Your Retirement

Introversion (I) vs. Extraversion (E): If you have a strong introversion preference, you might find joy in activities that allow for solitude or small, intimate gatherings. Depending on activities that you like, consider joining a book club with deep discussions, participating in creative writing groups, engaging in one-on-one mentorship, or taking part in workshops and classes where you can dive deeply into subjects of interest. Extraverts, on the other hand, may thrive in community groups, leading social clubs, or taking up roles that involve extensive interaction with others, such as volunteering in public-facing roles or organising community events.

Sensing (S) vs. Intuition (N): If you are a sensor, engaging in detailed and practical activities such as volunteering for local conservation projects, participating in hands-on workshops (e.g., pottery or woodworking), or joining historical societies that focus on preserving local heritage might appeal to you. Intuitives might enjoy activities that stimulate the imagination and involve future-oriented thinking, such as engaging in innovation workshops, joining think tanks or discussion groups focused on global or community issues, or participating in creative arts programs like painting or theatre.

Thinking (T) vs. Feeling (F): Thinkers, who may have a propensity for being overly critical, can benefit from engaging in activities that challenge their minds while also practising empathy and emotional intelligence. Think about joining debate clubs, becoming involved in strategic planning for non-profits, or participating in logic games and puzzles. Feelers might find fulfilment in roles that involve caregiving, joining support groups, engaging in volunteer work that directly impacts individuals’ lives (such as working with charities or community outreach programs), or participating in social activities that focus on building emotional connections.

Judging (J) vs. Perceiving (P): Judgers often prefer structured environments and may enjoy planning events or organising activities. They might find satisfaction in roles such as project management for volunteer organisations, or creating and leading workshops on topics of expertise. Perceivers, who prefer spontaneity, might enjoy exploring new hobbies that offer variety, such as travel-based activities (e.g., travel writing or photography), joining diverse, unstructured activities like improv theatre, or engaging in exploration-based hobbies like geocaching or bird watching.

Understanding MBTI as a continuum

It's important to note that these four categories are not necessarily polarities but continuums. Your preference exists somewhere on the continuum between the two constructs (e.g., Introversion and Extraversion). The combination of your strongest preferences on the four constructs indicates your overall personality type, such as ISTJ or ENFP. These types interact based on the strength of your preferences, and the resulting dynamics can influence how you experience and enjoy different activities.

 

Exploring Further

While the MBTI should be administered by certified professionals, there are numerous resources available for those interested in exploring their personality types further. Many online platforms offer similar assessments that can provide a general sense of your personality preferences. Although these are not substitutes for the official MBTI, they can still offer valuable insights and serve as a starting point for self-exploration. One of these online tests can be accessed on: https://www.16personalities.com/personality-types

For those interested in a more in-depth understanding, consider consulting a professional who is certified in MBTI administration. Additionally, reading books on personality types and how they impact life choices can be enlightening. Some notable books include "Gifts Differing: Understanding Personality Type" by Isabel Briggs Myers and Peter B. Myers, "Typetalk" by Otto Kroeger and Janet Thuesen, and "Psychological Types" by Carl Jung.

By understanding your personality type and applying this knowledge to your retirement planning, you can create a more fulfilling and balanced lifestyle that resonates with your natural inclinations and preferences.

 

Understanding age-related negativity

Although older people are as likely to be irritable or overly critical as younger people, it’s not uncommon for some individuals to display increased negativity or critical attitudes as they age. This tendency, often referred to as age-related negativity, can create emotional distance between you and others, making it challenging to maintain healthy social connections. Research has shown that this phenomenon can have significant impacts on both the individual and their social circle. According to studies conducted by the National Institute on Aging (NIA), a division of the U.S. National Institutes of Health (NIH), which conducts and supports research on aging and the health and well-being of older people, negativity and chronic criticism can lead to social isolation, increased stress, and even physical health issues like hypertension and a weakened immune response. Moreover, psychologists like Dr. Robert Levenson from the University of California, Berkeley, highlight that negative emotional states can erode relationships and lead to loneliness, further exacerbating the emotional toll on older adults.

 

Combating age-related negativity

We acknowledge that hormonal changes, physical ailments, and chronic pain can contribute to increased negativity or critical attitudes in older adults. However, it is crucial to recognise that consistently negative or critical behaviour can be emotionally draining for others. Research indicates that such negativity can lead to social withdrawal, as people tend to avoid interactions that are perceived as emotionally taxing. This avoidance can hinder your ability to build new relationships and maintain existing friendships, both of which are essential for a balanced and fulfilling lifestyle.

Conversely, individuals who focus on practising gratitude and maintaining a positive outlook tend to attract more social engagement. Positive psychology research highlights that gratitude and appreciation foster stronger social bonds and make individuals more approachable and enjoyable to interact with. Those who exhibit these positive traits are often better positioned to step into roles of mentorship or eldership, providing valuable guidance and support to younger generations. Studies, such as those by Dr. Robert Emmons, a researcher in the field of gratitude, demonstrate that individuals who regularly practice gratitude experience greater overall well-being, stronger relationships, and enhanced social support networks. Here are some strategies to combat this tendency and foster a more positive outlook:

  1. Self-Awareness and reflection:Regular self-reflection is crucial for maintaining awareness of your attitudes and behaviours. Start by setting aside a few minutes each day to think about your thoughts and actions. A simple way to do this is by keeping a journal where you write down your daily experiences, focusing on both positive moments and instances where you felt overly critical or negative.

To become more aware of your negative or overly critical attitudes, consider the following steps:

  1. Pause and reflect: Throughout your day, take brief pauses to check in with yourself. Ask, “How am I feeling right now?” and “Why am I feeling this way?” This can help you identify moments when you’re being overly negative or critical.

  2. Ask for feedback: Have conversations with trusted friends or family members and ask for honest feedback about your behaviour. They can offer perspectives you might not see on your own, revealing blind spots—areas of your behaviour or personality that you are unaware of. Remember, blind spots are called that for a reason; these behaviours are not on your radar but can be blatantly obvious to everyone else interacting with you. Although it may feel weird or uncomfortable, being made aware of these so-called blind spots is essential for personal growth. Once you become aware of them, you can start making positive changes.

  3. Keep a gratitude list: Each day, write down three things you are grateful for. This simple habit can shift your focus from negative thoughts to positive ones, helping you appreciate the good aspects of your life. If you’re anything like me, you might be tempted to skip this activity, but doing so would be a disservice to yourself. This simple habit can shift your focus from negative thoughts to positive ones, helping you appreciate the good aspects of your life. It’s amazing how quickly you’ll feel a change in your lived experience when you start becoming aware of things you should be grateful for.

Adjusting your perspective to look for positive elements can help you develop a more optimistic outlook. While this approach can significantly enhance well-being for many people, we recognise that individual experiences vary. For those facing depression or other challenges, this shift may not fully address their complexities. However, understanding that your mindset shapes your lived experience remains crucial. For most individuals, focusing on what is good (gratitude) tends to reflect positively in their daily lives. Conversely, chronic negativity and criticism can reinforce a more challenging reality. It's important to appreciate the nuanced nature of mental health and well-being, seeking appropriate support when needed.

Connie Zweig, in her book “The Inner Work of Age,” emphasises the importance of confronting and integrating hidden aspects of ourselves, including negativity, to achieve inner peace and emotional balance. This can be especially helpful in combatting age-related negativity. By acknowledging and addressing these hidden aspects, you can foster a more positive and balanced outlook on life, enhancing your overall well-being.

  1. Practising empathy and compassion:Make an effort to understand and empathise with others’ perspectives. Practising kindness and compassion can strengthen your relationships and make social interactions more rewarding. Remember that everyone has their own challenges, and showing empathy can foster deeper connections.

  1. Staying engaged and open-minded:Remaining open to new experiences and ideas is crucial for preventing rigid thinking and maintaining mental flexibility. Engaging in activities that expose you to different viewpoints not only broadens your understanding but also fosters adaptability. By cultivating an open-minded attitude, you increase your chances of meaningful interactions with people of various generations and backgrounds. Research shows that exposure to diverse perspectives can significantly enhance mental functioning, social skills and emotional resilience. A study by Dr. Adam Galinsky and colleagues at Columbia Business School found that individuals who actively engage with people from different backgrounds develop higher levels of creativity and problem-solving abilities. Furthermore, engaging in intergenerational activities can be particularly enriching. Various studies (e.g. by Matthew Kaplan) indicate that such interactions can reduce age-related stereotypes and foster mutual understanding. By maintaining a positive and appreciative mindset, as previously discussed, you can make yourself more approachable and inviting for others to engage with. This openness encourages richer social exchanges and deeper connections, providing more opportunities to learn and grow from different viewpoints.

  1. Seeking help: Maintaining a positive outlook can be challenging, especially during significant life transitions like retirement. If you find yourself struggling with negative emotions, it might be beneficial to seek support from a therapist or counsellor. These professionals can offer strategies to help you manage your emotions and develop a more beneficial mindset. Remember, prioritising your mental health is crucial, and reaching out for support is a proactive step towards enhancing your well-being. Many people find that talking through their concerns and challenges with a professional can provide clarity, reduce stress, and promote a healthier, more balanced life. Seeking help is not a sign of weakness but a step towards ensuring your retirement years are fulfilling and enjoyable.

 

Integrating your passions 

  1. Continuing professional contributions

Retirement doesn't mean you have to leave behind the knowledge and skills you've acquired over your career. Many retirees find joy and purpose in continuing to contribute professionally, whether through consulting, part-time work, or mentoring. Sharing your expertise with others can be immensely satisfying and helps to keep your mind engaged and active. Consider offering your skills to non-profits, schools, or community organisations that could benefit from your experience.

  1. Exploring new interests

Retirement is the perfect time to explore new interests and hobbies. Whether it's painting, carpentry, gardening, writing, mentoring, or learning a new language, engaging in activities that you are passionate about can bring immense joy and satisfaction. Joining clubs or groups related to your interests can help you connect with like-minded individuals and expand your social network. Remember, it's never too late to discover new passions and develop new skills.

  1. Volunteering and giving back

Many retirees find fulfilment in giving back to their communities. Volunteering not only allows you to contribute to a cause you care about but also provides opportunities to meet new people and stay socially active. Whether it’s mentoring younger generations, participating in community projects, or supporting local charities, there are numerous ways to make a positive impact. Engaging in volunteer work can also provide a sense of purpose and belonging, which is crucial for mental well-being.

  1. Maintaining physical health—Staying active

Regular physical activity is crucial for maintaining good health and vitality, particularly as we age into retirement. Activities such as walking, swimming, yoga (even chair-yoga), or joining fitness classes not only keep us physically fit but also enhance overall well-being. Exercise is known to boost mood and energy levels, which becomes increasingly important as we grow older. Unlike in younger years where the impact of inactivity may not be immediately felt, a lack of physical activity in retirement can significantly affect daily life and independence. For instance, maintaining core strength through exercises like yoga or Pilates can prevent difficulty in mobility, such as getting up from a chair or using the toilet. It's essential to choose activities that you enjoy and can sustain over time. Walking, in particular, is highly recommended for its ability to strengthen muscles and maintain mobility well into older age. Staying active also provides opportunities to engage with others, thereby supporting social connections and emotional well-being.

 

Conclusion

Creating a balanced and fulfilling lifestyle in retirement requires a holistic approach that integrates your passions, physical health, and social connections, while also addressing possible age-related challenges like negativity. Understanding your personality type through tools like the MBTI offers valuable insights into structuring your retirement activities in alignment with your natural inclinations. This self-awareness not only enhances your enjoyment of these activities but also contributes to your overall well-being and sense of purpose.

Retirement marks a phase of life where the pursuit of growth, fulfilment, and purpose takes centre stage. It's a time to explore new interests, contribute to your community, and nurture meaningful relationships. By staying engaged mentally, physically, and socially, you can maintain vitality and resilience. Embrace this phase with curiosity and optimism, welcoming the opportunities for personal development and connection that lie ahead. Your retirement journey is uniquely yours to shape—approach it with an open heart and mind, and you'll uncover a wealth of enriching experiences waiting to be embraced.

 

Related topics:

https://retirementplanning.co.za/thriving-in-retirement_the-next-chapter/

https://retirementplanning.co.za/who-are-you-defining-your-retirement-personality/

https://retirementplanning.co.za/the-ultimate-guide-to-retirement-in-south-africa-are-you-prepared-for-retirement/

https://retirementplanning.co.za/dementia-requires-special-retirement-planning/

https://retirementplanning.co.za/retirement-reinvented_-evolving-your-identity/

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